"Reality is not only stranger than we suppose but stranger than we can suppose" ... J. B. S. Haldane
Divergence II
Well I have been putting this off for about 2 weeks, so it is time to post it. Another thing related is the article my sister wrote on her new LiveJournal page that I read this morning…
As an experiment pay attention and note how everyone you talk to acts towards you.. think of it as a reflection of how you treat others. I tried this today.. it was so cool. It was almost as if everyone knew & was incredibly nice to me – I’m sure even more nice than usual. It was like the universe set it up just to me happy. : )
I have been big on essential oils, esp. since last summer when I went home to NB. My mom was very into it, & so was my sister in law, Judith, previously. Judith died while I was there on vacation, I was so fortunate to have been able to be there with her, my brother & a few very close friends of hers when she died. After this, I wore a blend called Forgiveness (by Young Living) all the time. You know when something is just drawn to you? I kept hearing forgiveness everywhere when deciding which one to get. It was almost like a message from her. It contains: Melissa, geranium, frankincense, rosewood, sandalwood, angelica, lavender, lemon, jasmine, roman chamomile, bergamot, ylang-ylang, palmarosa, helichrysum and rose. Its quite a combination & it’s still my favorite.
I have a strong memory of Randy putting Rose oil on Judiths pillow in the hospital.
I am going through a lot in my life, but find myself for the most part with an overlying feeling of optimism and peace which I attribute to rawness, esp eating lots of leafy greens, essential oils and through these & other ways raising my vibrational frequency. ; ) lol – I didn’t mean it like that.
The main point in doing this article is the letter I received from my friend Anne in reply to my Divergence article.
As a sidenote, whatever part of the universe is deleting Jeff’s letter and ½ of Anne’s…please stop. This is the 3 rd time I have copied and pasted the emails.
Dear Randy,
I am sorry to read you have such a hard time deciding what to do about the house. I have been thinking a lot about that message Nisha got while sleeping in Judith’s room. It is true there is a striking aspect of Judith in the whole house and inn. Nobody would be sorrier than I if you sell it and it is “lost”; I love being there.
But at the same time, the inn and its furnishing certainly are not everything Judith was, and definitely not what mattered the most about her. It bears testimony to her great taste and unique style, as well as to her ability to create warm and sophisticated atmospheres. But does that sum up all we loved in Judith? I don’t think so.
This “message” troubles me for several reasons. First of all, Judith was not a person looking back to the past. She would have hated a mausoleum – did she not ask you to give her ashes back to the water, the air and the forest, rather than bury her under a stone grave? Her whole life was made of new adventures, new projects, new challenges. Why would she ask you to remain in what was?
Then, what worries me about this message is that by making you focus on the past (and the outward shape Judith then had, the one we knew and loved), it prevents you from finding her where she know IS and lives. Of course, this new life is hard to grasp, feel, touch – she is everywhere and especially in you, in Amethyste, in Emily, in the autumn colors, in the wind, the water and the sky. Even if being open to the uncertainties of now is hard and full of insecurity, I believe it is worth it because only then do we stand where life is, not in some deserted but falsely reassuring past.
Finally, what concerns me the most is that you are being outwardly assigned a course of action rather than encouraged to search your own heart for what YOU wish and desire. Would Judith do this? I don’t remember her pushing people and deciding their truth for them. I recall her as trying to understand how each person felt and “worked” and then encouraging them to go for what they believed was right. If at least the reason given for not selling was that it would be the most advantageous path for you and the girls, and to prevent you from embarking on a dangerous venture – but no.
In other words, and it feels complicated to explain, what matters I think is to do what is right for you. Only if you are in harmony with yourself can the girls be happy too! So, I am not saying you should sell – or not, but that the choice should be yours only. Judith can only want you to be growing. If staying at the inn means, for you, to be stuck in a mausoleum, she certainly does not wish for that. But if you feel you are unable to go now, it is ok too: you just have to gently recognize it and dispose accordingly. You also might decide it is the best solution for you and the girls: perfect. I think in this instance it all boils down to what YOU want and what you feel. You are the one who will have to live with the choice, although nothing is irrevocable and it may evolve in the future.
So the message might mean, by reaction somehow, to search for your own truth. What does your heart wish (even if it sounds impactical)? What will enable you to grow and be alive with her now, rather than in the past? This message might simply be meant for you to question your choice more deeply. In any case, search for what is best for you; then it will be right for everyone. Tarots and other forms of signs can only go so far as to outline the possible paths; we are the ones who have to live with the events and choices…
There was another possible explanation for this sign that I thought of, a sadder one. If really it was Judith she heard, it can only mean she is herself clinging to what she was and is terribly afraid she will be forgotten by the girls (especially Emily). My personal experience with Sergio tends to show the afterlife is not necessarily all it’s cracked up to be (the big while light, all is well, etc.). I’ve come to think you might take fear and frustration with you as well, especially when your death felt unfair because too early, rash or cruel, and when you had just started new projects and relationships very dear to your heart, that you waited for a long time. This was the case for Sergio, and it might be for Judith – I do not know. Your dreams about her (crying about the child abuse) point in that direction. If this is the case, you are the one who needs to help her, by taking charge of things and showing her that there are many ways the girls will be able to remember her – not only through furniture and wall paper. She was so much more! You will discover it more and more everyday, if you dare stepping forward instead of back.
If this was really Judith, she is not the Judith she wished to be all her life: courageous, bold, respectful of other’s own truth and so focused on now and the future. If this was her, she is afraid and feels lost: then, you need to be strong for her.
I hope this helps, and I also hope you were not hurt by anything I said. I will let you know if any other insight presents itself.
...edited…
Take care and let me know how you feel and what you think.
Anne
While I am pasting emails, here is Jeff’s response to Divergence;
Hi Randy,
Read on your site about your spiritual somersault from that visitor’s psychic transmission. I believe that it’s likely she did pick up something from Judith. Let’s just say she did. What difference should it make to your feelings and thinking about moving? Just as if Judith were here with us, you get your say too. I’d spend some time feeling the difference out between moving and not moving so you can decide for yourself whether you lean towards moving or not. This would take into consideration that Judith’s opinion, conveyed via the transmission, is that it would be best for the kids. It the same as if you’d gone to Judith while she was with us and said maybe we should move and she felt maybe you shouldn’t. You’d both say what you felt and you’d both think about things and then you’d both do whatever you decided on together. If, as a couple, you generally went with Judith’s call on big issues which, for instance, is the case with Harvey and Tanyss (in my opinion). . . that is to say, they have a child and a house because of Tanyss and they have a stand-up basement and a variable-rate mortgage because of Harvey, then you might consider weighing that in to the equation of your choice. That’s what it is, a choice. Just process it like any other choice and then make a choice and practice acceptance over the outcome of that choice, whatever that choice is . . .
The facts that you were in a ‘drugged’ up never-ending weekend and the transmission came from the other side doesn’t change the normal processing for choice-making. It’s no more or less than a choice. Granted it’s a big choice and it can effect the kids in large part – probably more than you – so maybe suss out their feelings though kids generally think more short term and not much about fineances etc, they’ll be coming more from the emotional front . . .
Just a choice, no more or less. A big choice, but still just a choice.
You can choose to stay put because Judith indicated she thinks you should. That’s a viable choice. Consider what it means to stay put. Advantages and Disadvantages how do I feel now that I know how Judith feels etc? Then make a choice and practice acceptance of the outcome of that choice . . .
Just some thoughts on choice from a relatively clear head that hasn’t been somersaulting much lately . . .
Jeff.
Thanks for the insights, memories and beautiful tears; Robin, Anne & Jeff.
Je t’aime Minou
Commenting is closed for this article.